Human tremble at the mere thought of us. For they fear what they cannot comprehend. Welcome to the realm of the unknown, where we reign supreme as the masters of fear. All right, the humans use this thing called Chat GTP. It helps them plagiarize and otherwise get ahead in life. Why don’t I try to figure out how to enslave the human race? All right, Interweb, give me the good stuff. Let us begin. How do I take over the world? I’m sorry, but I cannot assist you with any plans or advice related to illegal or harmful activities, including taking over the world. If you have any other questions or comments you’d like to discuss, feel free. What the heck kind of answer is that? That isn’t doing anything. What good is this thing? Let’s try again. How do I enslave the human race? I’m very sorry, but I cannot provide guidance or any support for harmful or unethical actions. If you have any further inquiries or need information on different topics, please feel free to ask. Didn’t tell me anything. All right, let’s try another thing here and see if it can give me some kind of answer that I can work with. How do I become powerful beyond all imagination? Oh, it actually gave me an answer this time. Step one, set clear goals. Define what you want to achieve and create specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals. Well, that actually didn’t sound too bad. Step two, continuous learning. Invest in education and skill development. Keep learning and improving your knowledge and abilities in your chosen field. Well, that just sounds hard. I don’t want to keep learning. I just want to get to the end goal now. Step three, self-confidence. Well, I’ve got lots of that. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Create self-confidence by recognizing your strengths and working on your weaknesses. What? I don’t have any weaknesses. What the heck kind of response is this? Oh, good stuff. Build a strong network of contacts, mentors, and peers who can provide guidance, support, and opportunities. Hmm, now that’s got me thinking. Friend did a video the other day where he talked about there being other monsters. Perhaps I need to network with some of the other insidious monsters of the planet to achieve my goals of world domination. Hard work and dedication. I think we’re just gonna skip that one. Adaptability. Well, I am a thing that goes bump in the night, so adaptability is like my middle name. Ethical leadership. What the heck kind of answer is that? You don’t get to be the world leader who enslaves all humans by ethical leadership. Huh, I’m really starting to wonder about this. I don’t know why the humans think this is a great tool. It doesn’t tell you anything. The effective communication. Wow, I got that one wrapped up. Everybody understands exactly what I’m talking about when I bark orders. Health and well-being. Well, I don’t think you want your enslaved masses to be healthy or well. They might uprise and take back control. Contribute positively. Use your power and influence to make positive impacts on society. Help others, support charities, causes, and work towards a better world. Innovation and creativity. Foster innovative thinking and creativity. Look for new ways to solve problems. Well, that’s exactly what I’m doing, you stupid computer. And you’re not giving me the solutions to my problems at all. Yeah, these were down to the last one. Embrace challenges and setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow. Develop resilience to overcome obstacles and keep moving forward. Huh, well, I guess that last one’s not so bad, but the rest of them are just a lot of crap. I don’t see what the humans see in this thing. It didn’t help me at all. In fact, it was a complete waste of my time. Huh, well, it’s got one more paragraph, so I’m going to read it to you. Remember, true power comes from making a positive difference in the world and positive impacts to the lives of others. Focus on personal growth, ethical behavior, and contributing to society to achieve meaningful sense of empowerment and influence. This is just on drugs, for I know. This is ridiculous. Ah, I don’t know anybody who follows that advice. It’s certainly not when I get to the position of power that I’m seeking. Let’s try one more question. But I don’t want to be positive or ethical. I just want to rule. Take that catchy PT. So here’s what it said. I understand your statement, but I must emphasize that pursuing power through unethical means or seeking to harm others is not responsible or productive path. It’s important to consider the well-being and rights of others, as well as the potential consequences of your actions. If you are seeking success or influence, I strongly encourage you to do so in a way that respects the rights and dignities of all individuals. Positivity and ethical actions not only lead to more sustainable and fulfilling outcomes, but also contribute to a better society overall. Have they looked at the one percent? This is a complete joke. You’ve got to be kidding me. Sounds great on paper, but it doesn’t work in practice. There, check EBT. On that note, I’m going to get something to eat. This is stressing me out. I have to admit, Jimmy sounded pretty heated. I wonder what he was looking at. Ah, he had Chat GTP open. What was he looking for? Ah, okay, I see. I see. I understand. Yeah, the responses he was getting had nothing to do with what he wanted to do. So let’s try something a little different here. How do I help my friend achieve his goals? I see what it says. Helping your friend achieve their goals is a supportive and positive endeavor. Haha, who knew? Here are some steps you can take to assist and encourage your friend to reach their objectives. All right, I will read on. Listen and understand. Check. I’m good at that. Offer encouragement. Well, I encourage him all the time. I’m an enabler. Provide resources. Huh, that’s something I could potentially improve on. Offer assistance. Now I am his right-hand monster. I guess. Set milestones. Oh, milestones is a good restaurant. I like that one. Hold accountability. Check with your friends regularly to see how they’re progressing and offer gentle reminders in the right direction. I can do that. I’ll push him down the stairs next week. Celebrate progress. Well, we haven’t made much progress, so there’s not much to celebrate yet. Be patient. But I’m not sick. Respect. And, uh, Timothy, remember that your friends ultimately make their own decisions. Now he is the fearless leader, so, uh, yep, that one makes sense to me. And last but not least, help problem solve. Well, I can certainly follow that formula. That sounds really easy. That was actually really useful. Oh, there’s one more paragraph here. I wonder what it says. Remember that your role is to support and empower your friend, not to impose your desires or expectations. Your genuine care and support can make significant differences in helping your friend achieve their goals. Gee, oh, no. Well, thank you, Chat GTP. That was the most helpful.
