Hi everyone, I’m Miss Peer Editor. Today, I’m battling ChatGPT to see who can write the better AP English Language and Composition rhetorical analysis essay. I’ve been teaching thousands of students how to earn a high score on this exam since I got a five in high school, so let’s put my skills to the test. We’ll be using the 2021 Alpine Q2 prompt from the exam. Take a few minutes to pause this video and read it over. I’ll also put a link to the prompt in the description.
So, I’ve already written my full essay without looking at ChatGPT. Now, let’s enter the full prompt into ChatGPT and see what it produces.
It seemed to output an introduction paragraph with a thesis and it also analyzed seven rhetorical strategies. However, it looks more like an outline because there’s not enough in each numbered section to constitute a full body paragraph. But we also have a conclusion at the bottom.
Let’s compare ChatGPT’s essay to mine. Here’s ChatGPT’s introductory paragraph: ‘In his address dedicating the Rosa Parks statue in the National Statuary Hall of the United States Capitol Building on February 27, 2013, former President Barack Obama employs a variety of rhetorical choices to effectively convey his message.’ This first sentence essentially repeats the prompt. It’s not in any way hurtful to include this, but ChatGPT could have summarized it more briefly and used that space to start describing what the speaker’s message is. Through his careful use of rhetoric, Obama not only pays tribute to Rosa Parks but also highlights the importance of individual courage and responsibility in driving social change. This section clearly articulates the speaker’s message, and here’s the thesis statement: ‘In his speech, Barack Obama employs rhetorical strategies such as ethos, pathos, and logos, along with storytelling and repetition, to honor Rosa Parks, emphasize her pivotal role in the civil rights movement, and inspire a sense of responsibility and courage among the audience.’ When looking at the Alpine Q2 rubric, this would earn the thesis point because it answers the prompt. However, it’s not the most effective thesis because the rhetorical strategies, especially ethos, pathos, and logos, need more detail. For example, instead of simply stating ‘pathos,’ ChatGPT should have written an appeal to the audience’s admiration or another specific emotion. Also, there’s an awkward sentence structure with too many commas. To trim this down, ChatGPT should have paired each rhetorical strategy with its corresponding effect within each clause or written one consolidated effect.
Now, let’s take a look at my intro: ‘While dedicating a statue of Rosa Parks in the U.S. Capitol, President Barack Obama pays tribute to a woman who battled segregationist policies with a fierce resolve and inspires his audience to follow her example of humble leadership.’ This first part is a quick reference to the exigence or what compelled Obama to make this speech, and the context, which is the time, place, and occasion of the speech. Exigence and context, along with purpose, are all aspects of the rhetorical situation. This line includes two potential purposes of this speech, and it’s important to note that a speech can have more than one purpose. As the nation’s first black president, President Obama acknowledges Rosa Parks’ impact on his own journey to the White House and lauds her efforts to defend the freedoms that Americans enjoy today. Here, we’re connecting the contents of the speech to the speaker’s own background, and this is yet another aspect of the rhetorical situation. In his speech, President Obama recounts anecdotes about Rosa Parks’ activism, alludes to the Bible, and weaves together the legacies of various civil rights leaders to affirm that every American, regardless of position or status, has the power to drive change. Not only would this thesis earn the thesis point on the rubric, but it also describes rhetorical strategies in detail. I could have included individual effects on the audience, but I chose to end by stating one consolidated message of the speech, which is totally fine.
Here are ChatGPT’s body paragraphs. We’re going to review four out of the seven sections that ChatGPT produced. Here’s the first one on ethos: ‘Obama establishes his credibility and authority as a former president of the United States. That’s a strong topic sentence because it delineates the rhetorical strategy we’re focusing on in this paragraph. By acknowledging the members of the Congressional Black Caucus and their role in making this statue’s dedication possible, he demonstrates his respect for the political process and the contributions of others. That’s some sophisticated commentary that characterizes the speaker as someone who appreciates those who have led before him. This appeals to ethos by associating him with esteemed leaders and emphasizing the importance of collective effort.’ This part effectively summarizes the rhetorical strategy and the speaker’s message.
Now, let’s dissect my body paragraph: ‘The speaker invokes the Bible to imply that the struggle for justice is a universal theme in both religious texts and history. This works as a topic sentence, but it does not refer directly to the thesis. There should be some connection to how Rosa Parks inspired people to confront discrimination. Obama unravels the story of the Montgomery Bus Boycott spearheaded by Rosa Parks, which caused the entire edifice of segregation, like the ancient walls of Jericho, to slowly come tumbling down. Here, I seamlessly integrated the evidence into my sentence. Let’s continue. The speaker demonstrates that the Civil Rights Movement was a campaign of biblical or immense proportions that required sacrifices from thousands who were determined to champion equality for black Americans. Like leaders such as Moses, Jesus, and others, Rosa Parks led with courage and grit. Here, we have detailed commentary that justifies the speaker’s decision to allude to the Bible. Just as a preacher would speak about biblical figures with deference, President Obama adopts a reverent tone, which is apt for the dedication of a statue in a place that is considered a sacred symbol of democracy. Obama spotlights the pivotal role of religion in this movement, since the Bible served as a moral compass for civil rights leaders, many of whom were also leaders within churches. This part would definitely help me earn the sophistication point on the AP Lang rubric because it connects the tone to the context, which is part of the rhetorical situation. Notice how I use the word ‘reverent’ to describe tone. You should always provide an adjective rather than simply stating that the speaker has a tone. This last part is linked to the thesis statement because it refers to the power of individual everyday Americans in their communities. It’s time to compare our conclusions. Here’s ChatGPT’s last paragraph: ‘In conclusion, Barack Obama’s dedication speech for the Rosa Parks statue is a masterful example of effective rhetoric. In conclusion is a weak transition and it should be removed altogether. He pays tribute to a civil rights icon, illustrates the power of individual action in driving social change, and inspires a sense of responsibility and courage in his audience. This whole sentence is certainly true, but it’s implied. It doesn’t really add anything. Here, we’re restating the thesis and again, it’s too long-winded. But it gets the job done and has a strong ending. Now, here’s my conclusion: ‘Imbuing the statue of Rosa Parks with greater significance, President Obama references the Bible, tells stories about Parks herself, and pays tribute to leaders of the past and present. This whole sentence restates my thesis with different wording. In this underline section, I referred to the exigence. We have to remember that Obama is making this speech because he’s dedicating the statue, a symbol of individual responsibility. The statue serves as a reminder that a single person has the power to draw attention to a problem, advance legislation, and redirect a nation’s course. This is probably one of the strongest parts of my essay because it connects the exigence to the message and describes what exactly the statue represents. It’s interesting that ChatGPT makes little reference to the statue itself throughout the essay, even though it’s the central object. President Obama stresses that Parks’ work is not done, since inequality and injustice are still prevalent today. With this message, he galvanizes all Americans to start tackling issues within their communities. I like to conclude my essays by mirroring the speaker’s conclusion, so I ended with the main takeaway from the speech, which is a call to action.’
When looking at both essays, it’s important to keep in mind that I didn’t include the full text, so the other body paragraphs in both ChatGPT’s essay and my essay would have probably made them both even stronger. I do think that my essay was better than ChatGPT’s, looking at these two lists. But I would love to hear what you think in the comments. Let me know how you would score each essay, and if you enjoyed this video, please like, comment, and subscribe. I’m Miss Peer Editor, and I’ll see you next time.
